As a private escort girl, I’m at the top of my game. For a few dollars, you may impress your rich friends and acquaintances at your auction or fund raising event. And if you’re willing to tip me right, I may throw in a few special “services” into the bargain. Call now!

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Again, I feel like I need to have some alone time and enjoy a little self-pleasuring. Plus, I have some nice toys to play with. Would you like to be my play-date?

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G.I. Jane reporting for debriefing, sir! Operation “gangbang” succeeded. The target was located, dealt with and disposed of. The entire operation was recorded on this special microfilm. But be warned, sir — this contains brutal scenes for your eyes only.

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It’s not the first time I pay tribute to a classic movie scene. Some women may dream of being on the front of the Titanic, but I dream of being the object of someone’s fantasy, covered by nothing but petals. How’s this for an “American Beauty”?

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